Who Do You Invite to a Stag Do? The Ultimate Guest List Checklist

The guest list is the most consequential decision a best man makes, and most make it by accident — whoever happened to be in a chat, whoever shouted loudest, whoever the groom mentioned once. Every name on that list changes the budget, the bookings, the energy and the risk. So treat it like the decision it is. Here is the checklist I work through every time.

Tier 1: The non-negotiables

These names write themselves.

• The best man (you, presumably)
• The groomsmen and ushers
• The groom's brothers
• The groom's two or three lifelong mates — school, uni, the ones who would notice if they weren't asked

Lock these in first. They form the financial backbone of the whole trip, because they are the people who will actually pay a deposit promptly and turn up.

Tier 2: The good mates

The wider circle of genuine friends — the five-a-side lot, the old housemates, the work mate who became a real friend. This tier is where the list breathes. Add generously here and the weekend has energy and ballast; add carelessly and you inflate the cost for everyone.

A high-visibility note on money, because the guest list is a financial document whether you treat it as one or not: every person you add changes the per-head maths in both directions. More heads can unlock group rates on a house or a minibus — but more heads also means more deposits to collect, more dropouts to absorb, and more strain on whoever is fronting the cash. Based on internal 2026 transaction data across thousands of group trips, the costliest single event is not an expensive activity — it is a guest who pays a deposit, drops out late, and cannot be refunded because the money is already spent. Size the list for the people who will genuinely commit, not the people who might.

Tier 3: Family — handle with care

This is where best men get burned. Brothers-in-law, future brothers-in-law, cousins, and the big one: the groom's dad or the bride's dad.

The rule is simple and absolute: ask the groom, privately, and follow his answer exactly. Some grooms desperately want their dad there for at least part of it. Some would be mortified. You cannot guess, and guessing wrong is the kind of mistake that gets retold at the wedding for the wrong reasons.

The modern solution that keeps everyone happy is the split weekend: a daytime or first-evening that is family-friendly — the brewery tour, the meal, the golf — that dads and brothers-in-law can join, followed by a "the older generation heads off now" handover before the night escalates. It is diplomatic, it is increasingly normal, and it lets you invite family without locking the whole group into a tamer event.

Tier 4: The work friends

A small number of genuine work mates can be brilliant. A large number of half-known colleagues changes the chemistry — people behave differently around work, and the groom may not relax. Keep this tier tight, and only include work people the groom socialises with outside work already.

The names to leave off

• The mate the groom has obviously drifted from. Inviting out of guilt creates an awkward presence and an extra deposit to chase.
• Anyone the groom explicitly does not want there. His weekend, his veto. No exceptions, no "but he'll be offended."
• The serial last-minute dropper. You know who he is. If his deposit is non-refundable and he is a 50/50 to show, that is a cost the rest of the group eats.

The numbers that actually matter

There is a sweet spot, and it is dictated by logistics as much as friendship.

• Under 6: intimate and easy to organise, but you lose group discounts on houses, transport and activities, and a couple of quiet personalities can flatten the energy.
• 8 to 14: the goldilocks zone for most UK and European stags. Big enough for atmosphere and group rates, small enough to actually get a table, a taxi, and into a bar.
• 15 and over: now you are running an operation. Many venues, especially abroad, will refuse a group this size on the door without a prior reservation, and "we'll just see where we end up" stops being viable. Doable, but it demands real planning and a hard rule that nothing happens without a booking.

Clear it with the groom — all of it

Before you send a single invite, take the full list to the groom and walk it. Not the surprise activities — the people. You are checking for landmines: the falling-out you didn't know about, the cousin who must be included, the work situation that makes someone awkward. Five minutes here saves a fortnight of damage control.

Once the list is agreed, the job shifts from "who" to "who has actually committed" — and that is a moving target right up to the weekend, as people drop in, drop out, and go suspiciously quiet. The best man who keeps a live, honest list of who is really coming and who has really paid is the one who never gets a nasty surprise at the airport. Build the list deliberately, clear it with the groom, and never let an extra name slip on without doing the maths.